Lady Blumoon by blumoon

I woke up to a reading of 9 degrees this morning with the weatherman announcing we had reached a record low temperature for this date. I wanted to roll back over, hunker down, and hibernate. I couldn't tell whether the temperature in the house gave me the shivers or if I was simply reacting to the low levels of caffeine in my blood. Honestly, I did not ruminate on the origin of my shakes for long as it seemed easier to float back into sleep.

I love these early morning doze sessions, as often, I feel indulgent and conspiratorial, like a cat snoozing in the sun. I didn't feel the feline satisfaction long, as the weatherman announced the arrival of Daylight Savings Time this weekend. You all know the drill, Spring Forward, Fall Back. Yeah Yeah Yeah, it kills my inner clock. I rely on my inner clock, like some rely on their intuition. The fact of the matter is, it messes with the kid's inner clocks, thereby screwing any thought of "sleep schedules" to the wall! You would think it wouldn't bother the kids, as they are on teenage time, however it seems to exacerbate their "hunt all night, sleep all day" mentality.

Awake, annoyed and like every other morning, not very alert, I bumbled down the stairs. I realize, this is a great place to insert some romantic, slightly blurred vision of myself, floating down the stairs, filmy and resplendent in a pink negligee. Yeah right, leave that thought behind now. Step away from the vision and back into reality! I did indeed bumble, in bright red flannels. I suppose if you want to consider me missing a few steps and slipping down the stairs, I could have appeared to be floating. "Sigh"...........an accurate description for myself in the morning would be train wreck.

Somehow I managed to make coffee and stare sullenly at the pile of spilled sugar on the counter. Gathering a few brain cells, I muttered something blatantly insulting about the lazy person who had come before me to the sugar bowl, and had left more on the counter then in the cup. Arrrrrgh, this was not working towards a positive morning experience! Mind you, I am not Sister Mary Sunshine in the morning to begin with. Most mornings are so traumatic that I find myself needing a nap by 11 am. After noticing Gabe on the couch, already fully awake and staring at his daily cartoons, I turned back to the toaster and the loaf of bread that Gabe had laid out for me. "Time to make the donuts" I thought, and without fail, came the inevitable knock upon the front door. Raising my hands to the heavens, I begged whoever was listening, to send me a fairy with a magic wand !! "POOF", you have time warped to a deserted tropical island. Grumbling, knowing who was on the other side of the door, I answered it, only to be blasted in the face with cold air. Oh yeah, I remembered, only 9 damn degrees. Who, you might be inquiring, knocks on my door at O Dark Thirty every morning? My next door neighbor's little girl. It is always the same question...............

Yes indeed, it is sad but true. I own the only bottle of milk for miles around. I, the hapless, gullible neighbor lady, am the only mother capable of driving to the store to purchase milk. I am not too busy to supply the neighbor children with their daily cereal. Breakfast they enjoy daily, with my milk. The neighbor's cup runneth over with the milk of MY human kindness. Of course, I realize that I have enabled my neighbor's desire to grocery shop at my house instead of the regular store like most humans do. I am also beginning to realize that I am being taken complete advantage of. Lazy neighbor has discovered that I am a pushover, and a good enough mother to supply her child with breakfast. Not only do I have a cow in the garage, but I also have unlimited financial means with which to feed more than the three children I do. This morning however, I had used the last of the milk in my coffee , there was only enough remaining for Gabe to have a cup with his toast. I told my faithful milk procurer that I did not have any milk. Her face fell, I felt terrible and guilty. "I am sorry dear" I feebly said. Can you believe I am enough of an asshole to actually feel guilty for not having this child's morning milk? This is not my child! I shut the door, mentally flogging myself, my cheeks burning from frostbite. I gotta deal with this, I have to have a serious talk with that lazy neighbor, I thought as I turned to help Gabe get ready for school.

As a side note I am thinking of purchasing a bright green wig for my St. Paddy's Day celebrations! It seems a perfect touch of whimsy. I think my coloring will go better with the darker green, what do ya think? Wink Wink!