Daughter and I..............

     

I talked with My Mom who arrived in New Jersey on Thursday to stay with my niece Christine. My Sister and her husband are enjoying a well deserved break in Jamaica. My Mom however, is nervous, and wound up. She has to give the dog his daily insulin shots, and the responsibility is making her very upset. I love my mother to death, and recently she has been going through alot of worrisome testing and health issues. But in the big picture, I would think she would be more concerned about keeping an eye on my niece! Now mind you my niece is 17, and a very good kid. But it goes to prove that sometimes in life we misplace our stress and worry about the wrong things. I actually think Mom shouldn't have a care in the world. My niece is very mature and easy going, and my sister has her friends coming by to take my Mom out shopping or to lunch on several of the days she will be there. But the dog thing has really got her upset, and she actually begged me to come and stay with her through the week instead of going to Maine with the family. I tried to remain calm, because in truth, she was really tugging at my heartstrings! In the big picture, I was confronting an issue which most of us will have to face as our parents age. I recognized this feeling immediately as fear. Fear of my Mom's frailty as a human, fear of losing my parent eventually, and fear of having to be the one who takes control of a situation over my parent. So aside from feeling a little guilty, I have to admit to really wanting to go to Maine to see the rest of the family. So I am confronting yet another issue which is guilt. Guilt because I must deal with my own family, and make everyone else happy as well. I do not mind making my Parents happy. My intentions originally were to go to New Jersey and spend the day with my Mom before leaving for Maine. My Dad is going to be alone for the holiday, so I wanted to bring lobstahs to him and have a feast and a visit. But my mom sounded so stressed that now I am actually considering staying with her instead of Maine. Jim will be willing to compromise, but not willing to give me up totally for the entire vacation time. Alannah had her wisdom teeth taken out yesterday and did very well. She is bruised and swollen today, but feeling very perky. I really should watch over her for the next few days and make sure she takes her medication and that she eats only what she is supposed to. I explained this to my Mom and of course she understood, but still would like me in New Jersey to lean on. What to do?

Morning Lovies! Feeling a little bit better after a few nasty days of chicken soup and hot tea, so I thought I would Pop in and say hello and thankyou to all you well wishers. Gabe, being a whole lot younger than I, recovered quickly, and despite not really wanting to attend school has attended all week thus far! Maybe, because I was not feeling at my motherly best, Gabe has tried to pull some drama every day to avoid school. You should see him put on a show, you would all laugh! He starts by poking his eyes a little to make then tear up and then he starts with the lower lip quivering. I guess he figures that I will give in, due to his normally sunny disposition, but I also know that he can win an Oscar with his dramatic morning drama. I guess the bigger lesson here is to always enjoy the simple life moments, even when they are somewhat vexing. Who would not laugh at that adorable green eyed child, trying so hard to stay home with Mommy? Alannah has her wisdom teeth taken out tomorrow morning. Knowing the power of the stream, I will ask you all to pray and hold good thoughts. She will be under anesthesia, and I will tell you that the Oral surgeon is a bit concerned about her seizure history. So am I. If we all hold virtual hands and send loving energy I am sure she will breeze through this. My Patriots................arrrgh..............two games in a row lost and what a winning streak they broke. Heartbreaking. I did not see the game as It wasn't televised here, so I cannot offer any thoughts. I will say that I had to sit here and listen to Jim jab at me about his Ravens.......................oh lordie how that hurt! But I took it fairly well , outwardly anyway! Inside, I admit to being steaming mad, my Patriots losing is a harder thing for me then losing at poker! Now that is saying something. I secretly wanted to exlax the gravy or something! But truly, I remembered who has more Superbowl Rings...............lol. That brought me to thinking that another ring this year would be awesome. So the plans are set for our yearly trip to Maine for Thanksgiving. We leave weds morning and get home late sunday night. The kids have to be in school Monday to makeup one of the strike days. How crappy is that? I will say that We are all looking forward to a bit of Lobstah, ayhuh! Ooooh yummie! Who cares for turkey when there is lobstah to be eaten? I figure to have a real Italian sandwich, a whoopie pie, Macintosh apples and Red Hotdogs. I know Big Chris knows of what I speak! Indiginous food is so wonderful. I am hoping to eat Lobstah with My Dad, as my Mom will be in New Jersey with my niece! My Sister and her hubbie are taking a romantic vacation to Jamaica, so my mom is watching my niece over the holiday. I know My Dad would rather have Lobstah then turkey anyday! There are just times when a girl has to change her stars. Jim loves my hair long, and because of biology I just look silly with long hair. I really do not know what happens to a woman after 40. I am not under the belief that she is no longer a sex goddess, because experience tells me that the lady after 40 is the epitome of SEX----------------------------------!! But why do men insist upon an image? A sexual image that has nothing to do with the sexual image of the lady they are with? The reality is that Jim is no longer the man I fell in love with. We have been married almost 17 years, he has physically changed, I have changed as well. Why then, If I accept the "paunch", cannot he accept the fact that I look damn nice with less then "rocker" hair? That my desire for him lies in my very pores and not in how long my hair is?